so i had this problem with a boy.
i guess it wasn't much of a 'probelm'
well.. actually.. ugh whatever...

so my best friend kept giving me little hints to things. but none of it truly made sense to me. i kept trying to figure it out, but couldn't.

sooo. in june, we went out together. like to a party with his friends. anyways. so the night went good. then we had to share a couch because of limited sleeping space, which was completely ok with me. i should also add i'd had a crush on him for a year at that time. so we go to sleep, i was comfortable and kinda halfway sleeping. after a while i feel him kinda moving, and he puts his arm around me. he whispers "are you awake?" i say "yeah kinda.." and he says nothing. he was kinda rubbing my arm the entire time/scratching it, while i was asleep too apparently. i look at him, and he just is looking back. i say "what?" and he just shakes his head. his hand moves me rubbing up and down my side for a second, then stops. he says "sorry.. i know you wouldn't let any guy just do that.." and i tell him he's not just any guy. his hand slowly moves back to my side. we sat in silence for a while, and he looked a little upset. i ask him what's wrong and he still says nothing. after a couple more minutes of silence i hear him say "i was the one that left that stuff in your truth box..." which would be things like 'yes... all the time we got to be together and you were completely oblivious to it all... i'm sorry that you never really knew...' 'you will never know my true feelings for you...' and there were two more like that. i don't remember really saying anything.. and i'm pretty sure he apologized. i sat for a moment thinking... and then i said "what if i were to say i had feelings for you too..." hearing me say this suprised the both of us... he started talking about how there was only once in a lifetime for somethings and he's glad he took that chance... and then he started crying. i wiped away his tears and i told him it was ok, i promise. we just layed there and i played with his hair and ran my hand down his face. we were kinda nudging each other with our noses, just by the way hes so super cute.. haha, and we were like.. an inch away from kissing. i was so scared, my heart was racing, i didn't know what to do. i heard him whisper "once in a lifetime..." and i kissed him.. more than once too.. later after this, it was about 6 in the morning and he was laying in my arms falling asleep while a ran my fingers through his hair. i pretty much took care of him the entire time, got him drinks helped him up and stuff..

while this seems completely amazing a girls dream there's a problem. the girlfriend... yeah... well... that didn't stop him or me from kissing, holding hands, and anything like that when we were alone together. about lets sayyy a month later, another party. once again we had to share a bed. we both had something to tell each other and when we went to bed he wanted me to tell him. i didn't say anything for like... ever. i was so scared and nervous. finally... i said "i love you" and he kissed me, hugged me, then said 'i love you too katie' i cried. not even kidding. i was so scared and nervous he would tell me he didn't love me.

alright... so we spent the entire summer together. the entire time, she had NO idea. and yeah. just for the record.. shes a really bad girlfriend. she yelled at him all the time. treated him badly. and even if he did so much as accidently fall asleep, she'd get really mad at him. i treated him like he was my own, knowing he went through this with her. well eventually.. actally like 2 weeks ago.. they broke up. he calls me his angel and always tells me how i saved him and showed him what he really deserves and that he finally knows what true love is. he also told me he wants the rest of his life with me. i've never felt this way about anyone.. and ugh it's so amazing..

now that they're over, he tells me he needs time. i completely understand. they're break up was pretty bad.. she broke up with him, said sorry for ruining his life, and almost killed herself.. so i definitely get why he needs time. [OH! i forgot to say they were together for 3 years...]

okayy so that's basically my summer.. haha. i'm thinking he might ask me out over thanksgiving when he comes home from college. we're staying the night together and ahh i can't wait.